spellminders

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[He's closed himself off. He thought it might help -- slow your surroundings to a standstill, and maybe everything going on inside would learn to slow as well. When he got control over himself, he could control this stupid magic of his that was given to him. He thought he'd be happy, getting back the gifts he was born into, but even with them, the storm inside had been roaring enough to keep him up night after night.

Which meant he'd been even more cut off than he'd intended.]

I can't sleep. I need to. Tell me...what to do.

[Simple as that. Just help him rest, please...]

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[HE SOMEHOW FORGOT YUUKI EXPLAINS THINGS WITH LOTS OF WORDS INSTEAD OF HIS PREFERRED METHOD.]

I've never had most of that stuff? It sounds like a lot, so it's weird... It shouldn't have to be so hard.

If everything was easy life would be incredibly boring. But you're right. Sleep and rest shouldn't be something you struggle for.

If you can find me those flowers and herbs I'll craft you a tea. Or... if that's too difficult there's plenty of wine about. We can share a drink until we pass out~ The hangover will be worth it if you can finally sleep!

Mrh. Make a list. With pictures. Then I can look.

[Because,] Doesn't drinking just make problems? I've only seen people be stupid or sad when they're drunk.

[pushed to the extreme because of that military life]

[MMMM. No. Nope. She's not going to do that. Just do your best Lalli!]

I can give you an explanation of why alcohol does what it does but you won't like it. Alcohol can make you feel a lot of things but for your purposes it's to help put you to sleep. The only problem you'll have is how you feel in the morning.

But if all the lovely things I suggested don't seem like your cup of tea then I wish you the best of luck~ I'm sure there's another way for you to get some sleep.

[Nah. Without the list, he has nothing to do his best for, and so it won't get done. Can't send him out blindly into the world. He needs a little direction.]

I want to know more, I just wish you said it better. There are people that explain things better than you do.

[Well. Now you've done it.]

When I say things better you don't like it because it requires many more words which you have expressed that you don't care for.

So what is a witch to do?

If there are others that explain things better than by all means request their aid specifically.

You asked to be told what to do. I instructed. Then you demanded a list with pictures on top of it all. As if it's something I can snap my fingers and procure. If you want help you need to be able to take the steps yourself. I've given you a list and you are just as capable of researching in the library here in an attempt to find out what these things are. If you're not willing to help yourself then no picture list or further explanation will do you any good.

Furthermore, concerned as I do feel for all the children here you in particular have given me no reason to help any more than this. Insults of how I talk too much coated with demands give me no incentive to do anything more than advise. But I still attempted to give more, I offered to make the tea should you just be able to find the items. I would think that's quite generous but apparently not?

I say things perfectly well. You expect too much while doing too little. Despite that, I have all the faith in the world that you can find a way to figure out what a lavender plant is.

This is quite simple. Find the ingredients or don't. Or find those that explain things better than I. The choice is yours, but I've done all I can and want to.

[She's run into a great number of decent humans for a long while now. But one mustn't forget that they can be selfish creatures. You give them an inch and they'll always want more. She's seen it time and time again in the shop. She won't become so jaded that she'll stop bothering altogether. She knows better than that. But she won't be taken advantage of. And she won't be disrespected either. Humans forget their place all the time. Thankfully, she'll always be happy to put them back when they stray.

There's a saying she has: Humans do nothing to protect the precious things so why should the precious things do anything to help the humans?

Why... why indeed...]

[Hoo boy. Talk about incompatibility, especially since he was already struggling to put what he meant into words before he was met with far too many he didn't want or -- somehow -- anticipate. It's probably not surprising that Lalli retreats not soon after her message.

Much later, he comes back. This time it's words, but they're somehow meeker than his valise had been able to come across as.]

I don't understand when you say things. I hate not understanding. You say things like it's easy and obvious, but it's not. Not to me... I'm not stupid.

I spent most of my time outside. But I don't know what everything is and I don't know how to find out when someone doesn't tell me. I don't think I'll remember. I...have never been in a library.

[Or maybe he has, but they hardly qualified anymore. It was all abandoned old world rooms filled with dust and decay. More accurately but something to be much more ashamed of, he doesn't think he's ever read a book of any kind.]

I'm...

[Sorry. Say you're sorry. Just say it.]

Military. And still learning. Things don't work like you want at home.

[This might be as close as it's going to get while he's in the mental state he's in and with the upbringing he had.]

[Yuuko doesn't consider herself unkind or vicious. It would be unsightly to act like that in any sort towards others. But she doesn't take well to disrespect of any kind. Especially with humans. There is a somewhat low tolerance there. She felt it with the few selfish people that come into her shop and she felt it during that conversation.

Regardless such things pass as all storms do and by the time he contacts her again there's no current grudge or displeasure within her. Maybe minor annoyance because she'd been enjoying a drink and now she has to deal with what she presumes is another messy conversation.]

Then allow me to speak as clearly as I am able.

I have mentioned this before but I'll state it better. I am not being vague on purpose. And I am not sending you out to find things on your own because it amuses me or because I'm trying to make your life difficult. It's because I cannot really help any more than that.

Too often I have humans demanding I do more to grant their wishes while offering nothing in return. People just want things done for them. And mind you, if I was capable of doing more maybe I would. And there have been many times, more than I can count, that I've wanted to do more. But I can't. I send people out on dangerous ventures asking for vague items and they complete the tasks even at great personal cost.

But they succeed. They find the information on their own and complete the assigned task.

You and I have the same resources here on this world. But your time is not worth more than my own. I will not spend time crafting you a picture book. You see how that is quite a selfish request? You're more than capable of going to the same library here and finding the answers yourself in the books. Just because you've never been to a library doesn't mean you can't go into one now. And maybe instead of asking me to do the research for you your question should have been "How can I learn about these plants, I don't know what they are?" But you opted instead to ask more of me. Not even nicely at that. I have actually spent most of my time spent in this world has been in the library. I could have maybe helped you even more had it been asked properly.

But here is what you should take away from this. It's not my fault that you don't understand me, just as it isn't your fault for not understanding. There's just a gap. And that can happen when certain cultures meet. Understanding the positions of one another helps a great deal to remedy that.

[He takes a deep breath and tries to be very, very patient while he processes the words -- as much as he thinks there are far too many. She said she can't help it, just like he can't help how difficult it is to understand for him.

So. Breathe.]

I just -- don't understand why. If you know what they are and what they look like, writing a list isnt different from telling me. I didn't want a book. I didn't...

[He trails off, not sure where he's going with that, but even through words, his message carries with it a scrambling to keep up with this conversation. With society. Life. It's hard.]

I want to find the plants you talked about even if they don't help me. I know a lot can be used for medicine. So I'll find them. And I'll bring them back, and -- find what they look like.

[Even if that's terrifying and not in his job description at all. He just feels like he's...failing. Again.]

...Um. But I can't... I don't think I can find them in books if I only guess how they're spelled. It might be really different from what I think. I don't do a lot of that.

Writing a list is different because it's giving you something. I know it's difficult to understand and for something as simple of as a list it's very silly but that's the way it is.

I can't give gifts. Or helpful tools. I can't give another person anything without something in return. Not even a list.

[Every item and present is held under the same rules and scales. Difficult as it may seem to live this way she's long since gotten used to it though it can still be a bit sad or frustrating from time to time.]

You may be surprised what you find in the library. Most books are more pictures than words and better yet you may find a plant that exists only in this world that will help with your sleeping problem. If that's the case, so long as there are seeds I can grow it for you no matter where we are.

[For a price... of course.]

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