voice

[lalliho]

[He's closed himself off. He thought it might help -- slow your surroundings to a standstill, and maybe everything going on inside would learn to slow as well. When he got control over himself, he could control this stupid magic of his that was given to him. He thought he'd be happy, getting back the gifts he was born into, but even with them, the storm inside had been roaring enough to keep him up night after night.

Which meant he'd been even more cut off than he'd intended.]

I can't sleep. I need to. Tell me...what to do.

[Simple as that. Just help him rest, please...]

Comments

[ofthedemiurgescomposition]

"I can manipulate perception. So while that might not be able to fully put you to sleep, I can easily use it to make you feel as if you are asleep. There'll be no difference, really, since it's your own mind that's completing it. It's the least i can do for you, my dear apprentice."

[He says the last part with an equal mix of condescension and affection.]

[lalliho]

[This is...not as well-received as Joshua might hope. He's never considered manipulation like that before, but if he dwells on it, it's...a little horrifying. He already had a hard enough time scrambling to understand situations -- to be given a false one on top of that...? Ugh. Doesn't sit well. Neither does being considered dear, even when said so casually, or perhaps because of it, by someone who was still essentially a stranger, even if he'd been helpful.

The third problem...]

No. It doesn't work if I'm not asleep.

[ofthedemiurgescomposition]

"huh. A shame. I know plenty of people who take comfort in illusions, but you're more similar to me in that respect. Unable to accept a false reality. The question is, if you're the one who wants to control others' reality."

[It's more of a method of gaining insight rather than anything relevant to the situation at hand but... it's still important to Joshua.]

[lalliho]

[As important as it may be to Joshua, Lalli doesn't see the point, and he can feel his irritation cracking and leaking into his telepathic transmission.]

That wouldn't do anything.

[And it doesn't matter!!! Ugh. Is this really what people worry about...]

[ofthedemiurgescomposition]

"Exactly. Because as you can never take comfort in delusions, you will therefore never self-delude yourself without due cause. And such due-"

[He stops himself. He can tell Lalli is losing interest in whatever edgy ramblings he wants to go on. He shall restrain is tangents for now.]

"...Hmph. I suppose that's unimportant for the moment. So, it seems that I might not be as much help in this situation, at least, on the making you sleep part. This... could possibly be permanent, if I am to be serious about it. And if that is the case then, maybe we're focusing on the wrong thing here."

[lalliho]

[You chose too simple of a student, friend.]

Mrrrh. What do you think I'm supposed to be focusing on?

[ofthedemiurgescomposition]

"Trying to accept and live with your newfound insomniac condition. Essentially, rather than try to fix it, try and accommodate it. I don't think lacking sleep is necessarily a bad thing. After all, that means you have far more time."

[He's not one for positivity usually but Lalli desperately needs it at this moment and so he will provide.]

[lalliho]

[It would be nice if sleeping was really all he wanted... He shouldn't get too worked up -- he can hear Tuuri's voice in the back of his head reminding him with a false gentleness that not everyone was like him, so he couldn't expect them to understand weird mage shit automatically. But... Man, it's frustrating.]

I said I need to, not that I want to! I've got my magic back, so I can... I can try to reach Onni. He can try to get us home!

[They have so little left, surely he'd do everything he could to bring him back home...? Even knowing what he must, now... That Lalli failed him. Failed everyone.

He needs to do this so he won't fail them all again.]

[ofthedemiurgescomposition]

"Well, I already tried moving across worlds. Frankly, something is still blocking that ability, even with my other ones returned."

[Still, he's trying to piece together what. He needed sleep to contact someone... well, that would imply that sleep gave him some method.

[And yeah Lalli Josh doesn't know your Finnish stuff he's a Japanese boy whose been dead for ???? years. He's on the opposite side of the planet and been busy with dead people things.]

"So, how do you contact someone via sleep? IS there some sort of magical link established with that?"

[lalliho]

Onni wants me home, [he says half numbly, half with the conviction of someone you don't want to contradict. He knows this for a fact. Onni...has to want him home.

Okay. Explain it. Deep breath.]

It's...a connection between spirits. But it's this place that exists. Only mages and spirits go there. It's just how it works...

I'm far away from Onni, so he probably won't hear me if I call out to him, but maybe I can try to cross and reach him, or find another mage. I... I have to try.