spellminders

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[He's closed himself off. He thought it might help -- slow your surroundings to a standstill, and maybe everything going on inside would learn to slow as well. When he got control over himself, he could control this stupid magic of his that was given to him. He thought he'd be happy, getting back the gifts he was born into, but even with them, the storm inside had been roaring enough to keep him up night after night.

Which meant he'd been even more cut off than he'd intended.]

I can't sleep. I need to. Tell me...what to do.

[Simple as that. Just help him rest, please...]

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[hnnnnngh.]

I think she made me this way. With how she changed everyone.

[WITH A NICE HEALTHY I hate her, I hate her stupid magic, floating there in the background.]

"Oh. Well, that's unfortunate. If that's the case, then... I don't think there's any way for you to be able to sleep. I'm sorry."

[He sounds almost genuinely concerned for a second there. It reaches a deep and long forgotten place in his heart, really.]

Edited 2017-08-02 23:35 (UTC)

[what!!!! he doesn't want to hear this...]

People don't blow things up all the time, or make other people dance. They can stop what they have...

[It's not fair...!]

"Well, that is true. But this seems to be a physiological change rather than merely being granted some sort of ability. But, there's no use in not trying."

[He's trying to find a way to explain this sort of thing the best he can. Or at least, explain to Lalli a way it might be possible.]

"Did you have any sort of abilities in your home world?"

[gently qualms the tantrum]

....Mmn. As long as we're here, I can use them. I... I hear and feel spirits. Of nature, and -- and people.

"Hmmm, I do wonder then, if you would have the ability to see me in my natural form as well."

[That was what he was in currently, and it would be an interesting experiment, to see the least. Technically, he was more of a higher-planar being, but seeing across planes might have a sort of overlap anyways.]

[Oh, right... The high frequency of the world must affect things like that, too...]

...Maybe. Probably.

"Perhaps we could test that out at a later date."

[He'd certainly enjoy having a chance to show off, for one thing.]

"But anyways, sleeping. Well, think of it as being like a light switch. Right now, you have said switch 'on' and that's keeping you from sleeping. So what you have to do is turn it off, so to speak."

[mmmm he's almost too nervous about it to agree. What happens if he can't see Joshua? What if they wait too long and Qri takes him away from his connection with the gods again? What if...

He's too much of a mess to handle the stress that comes from the possibilities, but he gives a vague hum to confirm the plan all the same.]

I don't know how. I've never had to before.

"Well, just focus yourself on it. Find the part of you where this power is coming from, and then calmly disable it."

[He's doubting that this will do anything but... he might as well try to help.]

Pshht. You don't think I tried?

[Mr. Mentor-senpai, do you have such a low opinion of him...]

I only know where my stuff is. Whenever I look for the...switch thing, I get...pulled in. My magic felt natural even when I couldn't use it at all. I don't know where else anything like that could be...

"Then in that case..."

[He takes a deep breath out loud, hoping that's also not sent along. How is he going to phrase this..?]

"It's certainly possible that this might be a permanent, physiological change, as much as I loathe to admit that. And if it's not, then the method for shutting it off is either very obscure or requires a level of fine control currently beyond your ability."

[There's very much a feeling of no, shut up, let me live in denial for a little while longer about this at the very least. Let him Live. But also:]

Someone said he would knock me out. If I wanted.

"That's... also a very good strategy. I'd offer to do so myself but, then again I also don't think I really could."

[On Lalli's plane of existence, anyways.]

"Perhaps I could use my own power to try and help."

[Yeah... It's sad, but he's really considering it. And whether he goes through with it or not, it's going to lead him to a destructive idea that'll knock him out for a couple days. Gotta love losing that luonto.]

You have to tell me what they are. You can't just say something like that.

[Scary.]

"I can manipulate perception. So while that might not be able to fully put you to sleep, I can easily use it to make you feel as if you are asleep. There'll be no difference, really, since it's your own mind that's completing it. It's the least i can do for you, my dear apprentice."

[He says the last part with an equal mix of condescension and affection.]

[This is...not as well-received as Joshua might hope. He's never considered manipulation like that before, but if he dwells on it, it's...a little horrifying. He already had a hard enough time scrambling to understand situations -- to be given a false one on top of that...? Ugh. Doesn't sit well. Neither does being considered dear, even when said so casually, or perhaps because of it, by someone who was still essentially a stranger, even if he'd been helpful.

The third problem...]

No. It doesn't work if I'm not asleep.

"huh. A shame. I know plenty of people who take comfort in illusions, but you're more similar to me in that respect. Unable to accept a false reality. The question is, if you're the one who wants to control others' reality."

[It's more of a method of gaining insight rather than anything relevant to the situation at hand but... it's still important to Joshua.]

[As important as it may be to Joshua, Lalli doesn't see the point, and he can feel his irritation cracking and leaking into his telepathic transmission.]

That wouldn't do anything.

[And it doesn't matter!!! Ugh. Is this really what people worry about...]

"Exactly. Because as you can never take comfort in delusions, you will therefore never self-delude yourself without due cause. And such due-"

[He stops himself. He can tell Lalli is losing interest in whatever edgy ramblings he wants to go on. He shall restrain is tangents for now.]

"...Hmph. I suppose that's unimportant for the moment. So, it seems that I might not be as much help in this situation, at least, on the making you sleep part. This... could possibly be permanent, if I am to be serious about it. And if that is the case then, maybe we're focusing on the wrong thing here."

[You chose too simple of a student, friend.]

Mrrrh. What do you think I'm supposed to be focusing on?

"Trying to accept and live with your newfound insomniac condition. Essentially, rather than try to fix it, try and accommodate it. I don't think lacking sleep is necessarily a bad thing. After all, that means you have far more time."

[He's not one for positivity usually but Lalli desperately needs it at this moment and so he will provide.]

[It would be nice if sleeping was really all he wanted... He shouldn't get too worked up -- he can hear Tuuri's voice in the back of his head reminding him with a false gentleness that not everyone was like him, so he couldn't expect them to understand weird mage shit automatically. But... Man, it's frustrating.]

I said I need to, not that I want to! I've got my magic back, so I can... I can try to reach Onni. He can try to get us home!

[They have so little left, surely he'd do everything he could to bring him back home...? Even knowing what he must, now... That Lalli failed him. Failed everyone.

He needs to do this so he won't fail them all again.]

"Well, I already tried moving across worlds. Frankly, something is still blocking that ability, even with my other ones returned."

[Still, he's trying to piece together what. He needed sleep to contact someone... well, that would imply that sleep gave him some method.

[And yeah Lalli Josh doesn't know your Finnish stuff he's a Japanese boy whose been dead for ???? years. He's on the opposite side of the planet and been busy with dead people things.]

"So, how do you contact someone via sleep? IS there some sort of magical link established with that?"

Onni wants me home, [he says half numbly, half with the conviction of someone you don't want to contradict. He knows this for a fact. Onni...has to want him home.

Okay. Explain it. Deep breath.]

It's...a connection between spirits. But it's this place that exists. Only mages and spirits go there. It's just how it works...

I'm far away from Onni, so he probably won't hear me if I call out to him, but maybe I can try to cross and reach him, or find another mage. I... I have to try.

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