video - don't introduce lalli to twitter.

[lalliho]

[COMING AT YOU LIVE from...from...a bath??? There's definitely bubbles hanging around this wet scarecrow of a human, along with swishing and slapping of water and some blonde fumbling about with a towel in the back (presumably for the now-clean Lalli) whose expression becomes distracted just moments after the mental broadcast begins.]

Emil can't make a circle around my thigh with his hands. No one can. That's stupid.

[Emil mostly seems to be melting into mortification rather than sticking to some kind of agenda, but whatever. Not like he's naked.]

If anyone in this stupid coven thinks I'm wrong, prove it. Come to the bathhouse in the next hour, and if you can make your fingers touch, you win. If not, Emil shuts up.

[if u want an ass kicking]

Comments

Video

[transcutation]

Clearly I'm not doing it with these hands- [She holds up one of her tiny, child size hands, waving her adorable fingers] -but I've met men who could put their hands around my waist without much trouble.

[Draph men are just. Ridiculous.]

Not that I'd ever let them.

[lalliho]

[when did toddlers arrive on the island and also get so haughty?]

No you haven't. No one has hands that big, and no one is that skinny unless they're dead.

1/2

[transcutation]

They do when they're nine feet tall and have fists like ham hocks.

[transcutation]

[And suddenly every ounce of haughty is transmuted into sickeningly sweet, sparkly adorability???]

A~lso, Cagliostro is a tiny dainty maiden with very slim proportions!

[lalliho]

[Nine feet...? Lalli brings a foot up out of his bubble hell to squint at it. Even if he had big feet, he can't imagine that someone nine of these tall would have hands large enough for this impossible task.]

Are you baby-sized? This is stupid.

[transcutation]

[Aaand it's gone again]

You sure have a narrow world view, boy. You've never even met a draph, have you?

[lalliho]

[I'm really sad Lalli doesn't know about giraffes so I can't make some dumb comment.]

What's a draph?

[transcutation]

[i literally had that issue when i was introduced to granblue]

Horned people who are way too tall and way too muscley. The men, anyway. [The women were... too big in other ways.] Are there not other races of people in your world?

[lalliho]

[Hmmmn...]

That sounds like the Danish, except they don't have horns, I think.

[like, he's too small to see the top of Mikkel's head, so]

[transcutation]

You're not sure if they have horns?

[Well, she now thinks Danes are all huge muscle men...]

None of them big enough to put hands around your leg though?

[lalliho]

His head is too high.

[He really doesn't care to look at it!!]

No. Because I have a normal leg.

[transcutation]

...you've only met one?

[Also.... how tall would he have to be to not know if there were horns on his head? Just... take a couple steps back...]

Danish hands must be smaller than Draph hands then. I've definitely met ones with fists the size of my head.

[lalliho]

I probably saw others, but I didn't need to meet them.

[listen???]

Or maybe you have a small head, too.

1/2

[transcutation]

Not the curious type, are you?

[A sigh - clearly her opposite]

[transcutation]

Geez, Cagliostro's head is cute and perfectly sized for her age!

[Y'know, 2000 years old]

[lalliho]

About some stuff. Not about weird people I can't understand and there's no point anyway.

[He's still thinking away on this name, by the way. What a weird sound.]

How old are you?

[transcutation]

You'll never understand anything that you decide beforehand you can't.

And don't you know it's impolite to ask a lady her age? Older than you, anyway.

[lalliho]

I don't speak Danish?

[He really very sincerely believes he can't understand them!!]

…Why is it impolite to ask a lady but not a man?

[transcutation]

There are plenty of ways to learn about someone without speaking their language.

[She gives an undignified snort of annoyance]

Because old men are wise and dignified while old ladies are crones who should just retire already.

[Is she bitter about something? Can't be]

[lalliho]

[UM???]

You shouldn't say that.

[transcutation]

Oh, of course you shouldn't say it, but that's what they all think. No respect, honestly.

[Well, not that Cagliostro can't say she doesn't prefer young to old, but that has to do with cuteness or something.]

[lalliho]

[This is so alarming?]

Why would anyone think that? Who’s “they”?

[transcutation]

Lots of people, but mostly - and I'm sure this will come as a surprise - supposedly wise, certainly ancient and not very dignified old men in positions of power. The attitude just kind of trickles on down from there though.

[lalliho]

[But... But...]

What about the old women in positions of power? They’re there too, so shouldn’t that...not work?

[transcutation]

They're outnumbered, outvoiced - plus, ever notice how bossy men are "assertive" but bossy women are "nags"?

[...though really, she and her sister were just never really the leadership types and before she knew it, the whole place was...]

Tch, why am I even lecturing you on this, anyway? Clearly it's not ever going to be a problem for you anyway.