video - don't introduce lalli to twitter.

[lalliho]

[COMING AT YOU LIVE from...from...a bath??? There's definitely bubbles hanging around this wet scarecrow of a human, along with swishing and slapping of water and some blonde fumbling about with a towel in the back (presumably for the now-clean Lalli) whose expression becomes distracted just moments after the mental broadcast begins.]

Emil can't make a circle around my thigh with his hands. No one can. That's stupid.

[Emil mostly seems to be melting into mortification rather than sticking to some kind of agenda, but whatever. Not like he's naked.]

If anyone in this stupid coven thinks I'm wrong, prove it. Come to the bathhouse in the next hour, and if you can make your fingers touch, you win. If not, Emil shuts up.

[if u want an ass kicking]

Comments

action because i'm a dick

[enflame]

( WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING??? OH MY GOD?????

Okay, so for the curious -- it was just an offhanded comment Emil probably should have kept to himself for both Gay and Don't Talk About Other People's Bodies You Fuckass reasons, but it came from a place of concern. Lalli has been a string bean boy for as long as Emil has known him. It just sort of catches his attention very strongly right now, and he's scrubbing at Lalli's thigh with a rag when he makes the comment about his extreme thinness.

...And somehow it came to this after hypothetically saying he could put his whole hand around his thigh, then actually doing it and like...you had to be there, it's way more heterosexual than it sounds.

But now apparently it's a thing?? Emil's trying to wrangle Lisko and dry them off when he too gets the unfiltered telepathic message and whips around, LITERALLY ABOUT TO DIE while his lizard just gurgles dumbly in his arms. )

Lalli. ( Don't mistake that for telepathy; Emil's hissing at him in real time. ) What on earth are you doing!? Don't just go asking people to grab at you!

( IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE HIS EMOTIONS IN ONE WORD, HE'S A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT NOW FUCK )

perfect

[lalliho]

[The way Lalli turns up his nose at this very sensible chastising says a lot about how he viewed this innocent exchange. Emil has Fucked Up and insulted this odd fey creature, and now he has to deal with the consequences. Never mind that the consequence of this is that the guy that wants to throw punches when someone rests a hand on his shoulder is potentionally going to have to deal with More Contact... Oops.]

I'm proving that I'm right.

[so nyeh]

[enflame]

( Look...aesthetically he's not complaining, not that he has any opinion about Lalli's thighs in this area!! But the dude is the embodiment of Please Lord, Give Him A Sandwich.

And don't think he's lost on the fact that Emil has to shy around touching Lalli 95% of the time now and here he is just inviting every Tom, Dick and Harry to go grabbing around an area dangerously close to nether regions. He'll never understand this mystery forest boy, holy shit. )

You don't have to take it so seriously! Do you really want random people trying to put their hand around your thigh of all things?

( Lisko might consider taking a crack at it. They've slithered out of Emil's grasp and into Lalli's bathhouse tub, curious about this particular pool of water. He just got you dry, child!!! )

[lalliho]

[HE'S BEEN EATING BOAR STEAKS FOR DAYS LET HIM LIVE]

Pshht. You're the one that made a big deal out of it. [He reaches out to Lisko and curls them in his arms, sorry. His baby, now.] Are you scared to lose?

[CLEARLY THIS IS THE POINT what a prideful fuck]

voice

[wingfic]

What are you doing?

[lalliho]

[why is everyone questioning him]

I'm proving that what Emil said is stupid?

[wingfic]

[She sounds a tiny bit scandalized.]

Either put on some clothes or stop showing everyone yourself in the bath!

[lalliho]

[Puh... The military and saunas have made him accustomed to nudity -- it's not like there was anything remotely sexual about this! Why should he be ashamed!!]

I'm only showing my head and shoulders. Calm down. What are you, some kind of weird pervert for necks or shampoo?

Video

[transcutation]

Clearly I'm not doing it with these hands- [She holds up one of her tiny, child size hands, waving her adorable fingers] -but I've met men who could put their hands around my waist without much trouble.

[Draph men are just. Ridiculous.]

Not that I'd ever let them.

[lalliho]

[when did toddlers arrive on the island and also get so haughty?]

No you haven't. No one has hands that big, and no one is that skinny unless they're dead.

1/2

[transcutation]

They do when they're nine feet tall and have fists like ham hocks.

[transcutation]

[And suddenly every ounce of haughty is transmuted into sickeningly sweet, sparkly adorability???]

A~lso, Cagliostro is a tiny dainty maiden with very slim proportions!

[lalliho]

[Nine feet...? Lalli brings a foot up out of his bubble hell to squint at it. Even if he had big feet, he can't imagine that someone nine of these tall would have hands large enough for this impossible task.]

Are you baby-sized? This is stupid.

voice. FOR NOW....

[actus]

... Sure. Give me five minutes?

[ what in the what? ]

[lalliho]

[HECK YEAH, this guy gets it. Plus Lalli has seen Akira's hands and he's very confident in their inability to make a complete circle around his thigh. This is going great already. Eat shit, Emil.]

Mmn. Then I can dry off and maybe get some clothes on.

[so. yeah.]

action.

[actus]

[ jesus christ.... ]

Probably. I just got out of something serious.

[ boy does he sound like he's making a joke here. but it's actually the truth. but that's fine. it's all fine!!! he's just going to head to the bathhouse to not at all do this weird??? and bizarre? and creepy thing???? it's totally fine. ]

Lalli?

[ where you at bro. ]

[talim]

[ ... ]

Lalli... you shouldn't give Emil such a hard time.

[ although jude has no idea what in the world they could possibly be doing? ]

[lalliho]

[dont tell him what to do]

He should stop saying weird stuff that isn't true about my body, then.

[talim]

Whatever he said, I'm sure he didn't intend to upset you.

video

[apatheia]

... Is it important that he be able to make a circle around your thigh with his hands? [Just what is the context for this?? The bathhouse doesn't really explain any part of his statements.]

[lalliho]

[very valid question.]

Apparently. You wouldn’t think so.

[apatheia]

What is it that makes it important then?

VOICE.

[nockpoint]

[ WHATS GOING ON? NOBODY KNOWS. ]

What are you, stupid?

[lalliho]

[hey, how about fuck you especially?]

Why did you reply? Go away if you think that.

[nockpoint]

[ hey how about no! he's bored, anyways. ]

Why did you feel it was necessary to make everyone have to listen to this idiocy in the first place if you're not even going to welcome inquiries?