video - don't introduce lalli to twitter.

[lalliho]

[COMING AT YOU LIVE from...from...a bath??? There's definitely bubbles hanging around this wet scarecrow of a human, along with swishing and slapping of water and some blonde fumbling about with a towel in the back (presumably for the now-clean Lalli) whose expression becomes distracted just moments after the mental broadcast begins.]

Emil can't make a circle around my thigh with his hands. No one can. That's stupid.

[Emil mostly seems to be melting into mortification rather than sticking to some kind of agenda, but whatever. Not like he's naked.]

If anyone in this stupid coven thinks I'm wrong, prove it. Come to the bathhouse in the next hour, and if you can make your fingers touch, you win. If not, Emil shuts up.

[if u want an ass kicking]

Comments

action.

[actus]

[ jesus christ.... ]

Probably. I just got out of something serious.

[ boy does he sound like he's making a joke here. but it's actually the truth. but that's fine. it's all fine!!! he's just going to head to the bathhouse to not at all do this weird??? and bizarre? and creepy thing???? it's totally fine. ]

Lalli?

[ where you at bro. ]

[lalliho]

[Like a deadly scouting mission? That'd be pretty serious. Not sure what that has to do with what he said, though.

Lalli will indeed be wearing pants by the time Akira arrives, but unfortunately his shirt is currently being fought over by himself and a yellow lizard baby who is Very Determined to get this mystical cloak. Come on, other dad!!! They're grateful when this new person shows up to distract Lalli away so that they get to win, which they absolutely would have done anyway. They're a winner.

The dude asking to get groped pitter-pats on over to the voice and into view.]

Hi.

[sticks leggy out]

[actus]

[ the groping: coming to a theater near you.

but really, akira just stares in utter amusement. this is actually happening. he's actually serious about this. he's going to tease emil ruthlessly over this absurdity. just you wait. just you wait!!

either way, akira stares at the leg, then the lizard, then back to lalli. what in the what. ]

Shouldn't I at least buy you dinner first?

[lalliho]

[This joke is unfortunately in line with what got Lalli to proclaim this ridiculous bet in the first place, so instead of getting embarrassed or laughing it off (imagine a world), he stomps his previously raised foot, crosses his arms, and huffs out something a little like a hiss. Lisko drapes the shirt over their head and looks around like obscured vision will help them see the world better.]

I eat just fine! If I didn't, I couldn't be a good scout, and I'm not too thin!

[actus]

[ this is all sorts of amusing. it's fifty shades of terrible. akira is trying not to laugh, and it's working so far, but he may crack at any moment. he's not invincible. ]

Right. Of course.

[ and a bit softer this time: ]

Why were you talking about your legs, anyway?

[lalliho]

[Dang right you back down from that dinner stuff, mister.]

Mrrh... [Since Lisko wobbled over, he's back to trying to wrestle his shirt free from them. Give it, little monster!!] I don't know. He said I smelled too gross, so he was giving me a bath and then started talking about them. He's weird, does weird things for weird reasons.

[actus]

[ wait..... hold on?????

akira blinks, slowly, and then tilts his head even slower. ]

He ... bathes you?

[ come again? ]

[lalliho]

[Lalli's head tilts in the same way without much thought. What's happening...]

Hn. I usually forget or don't feel like it, and he usually did it before.

[Perfectly normal things friends do.]

[actus]

[ someone please explain this to him. he's so lost. ]

Ah... was he your guardian, then? Some sort of bodyguard?

[ or servant or something. because that'd make sense? he supposes? caretaker? ]

[lalliho]

[Now his face shifts into a real expression again, something a little like "what in the fuck?"]

No? I don't need a body...guard, and Onni was my guardian, but now I'm nineteen. [What a weird thing to bring up??? Emil is his age, too...] The others were just doing laundry, shouldn't get too close to me, or didn't want to. I think. So he took care of decontamination most of the time.

[actus]

[ he's tabling the gay for now. just for now. ]

Decontamination. [ he repeats it, lips falling into a frown. it's rare there's anything but the deadpan or a grin, to be honest. a sigh, and he lifts a hand to fiddle with his bangs. ]

Why did they think you needed that? You look normal to me.

[lalliho]

[Rude?]

I am normal. Pfh... [so!!!] It wasn't for me, it was for the stupid redheaded mage and my cousin. They weren't immune like us, so we needed to make sure nothing bad came back on me from scouting. That's why someone else does it, to make sure everything is clean and safe again.

[actus]

[ he only says this next thing because he knows lalli won't get the undertones. or he hopes he won't, because if he does, well, that'd be entertaining? at the least? ]

Yeah? So it's completely platonic. Cool. That makes sense.

[lalliho]

[Hmmmn, Akira is a strange dude, but not as strange as others, and he'd been able to explain plenty of useful things to him before. Asking is safe.]

What's platonic?

[actus]

[ #dead. ]

Ah... you know. Things friends do.

[ akira offers a genuine smile at that and he reaches out to try and take lalli's hand to shake it. ]

[lalliho]

[HMMMN. He doesn't take the hand, just watches it, own hands curled into safe little fists to protect them from any grabbing.]

Then no, it isn't platonic. It was for work, not because we're friends.

[actus]

[ ... right. lalli has that whole touching thing, right? akira shrugs and lets his hand fall away. ]

So things are back to normal with you guys now?

[ after that uh... conversation. awhile back. about friendship and uncertainty! ]

[lalliho]

[Yep. And yet he sure did invite the whole island to touch his leg, didn't he...]

...I guess so. I don't really know what normal is for us? We're not angry, though.

[AND YET HE SURE DID INVITE THE WHOLE ISLAND TO TOUCH HIS LEG TO SPITE EMIL, DIDN'T HE]

[actus]

[ THE WHOLE ISLAND IS GETTING THE STANKY LEG. ]

That's good.

[ listen, friends prank and spite each other and make bets. it's totally healthy. he's certainly not one to talk. so he just laughs and - ]

Were you really serious about your broadcast? [ he's Not Convinced. ]

[lalliho]

[IT'S CLEAN NOW!!!]

Mrh. [Back to a frustrated huff.] Yes because he's wrong and stupid. People can't do that. Proving that is easy.

[actus]

[ ... oh my god. ]

Wrong and stupid.

[ akira is holding back a laugh, his hand coming up to hide his mouth. hmmm. ]

Maybe we should film it, then.

[ AKIRA NO. ]

[lalliho]

[thanks for refraining]

Fffilm.

[??????]

[actus]

Oh. Has Emil not showed you his tablet yet? It can take videos.

[ he's so amused by this send help. ]

[lalliho]

Oh. That stuff.

[He knows what it is, but "film" is way different than "take video"!!!]

I guess that makes sense...? We usually just use it for Lisko, I think...

[BLUB BLUB BLUB WHO SAID THEIR NAME HI whap on Akira's leg]

[actus]

[ HELLO LIZARD CHILD?! ]

Ah. So you've truly embraced the proud parent title.

[ a lazy grin and he reaches out to hesitantly pat lisko's head. please don't shock him?! ]