( ett • voice & video )

[enflame]

( At first there's not a video feed, just a very simple yet disgruntled question: )

Does anyone around here know how to knit? I feel like I have to be missing something.

( In an effort to illustrate the point, there's suddenly a telepathic video stream attached, showcasing what appears to be a muddled ball of yarn; someone may or may not have resorted to trying to rub or melt it together because knitting is obviously just some type of witchcraft.

Hands attempt to pull it apart to showcase the expert craftsmanship that went into this mess -- there's also the sound of rain, as well as a small voice in the background that keeps shouting FUCK! over and over again with varied levels of intensity. The culprit is a chubby Elto baby that's crawling around just out of sight, a thick stick grasped firmly in their hand. )

Lisko! No bad words! -- Regardless, I have a suspicion that the problem is more so with the type of...materials...since they don't want to stick together no matter what I do.

( Or Emil's just an idiot, which is only somewhat more likely. )

Comments

[enflame]

( Emil's too confused by Lalli's lack of concept of rain to respond to that.

When Lalli finally arrived, his string mess has been forgotten. Lisko remains under the bed he's sitting on, still quietly saying fuck to themselves in long strings, as if they're trying to carry on a conversation using only the curse word.

Their frazzled father is now even more so with the introduction of bloody!Lalli and mystery meat. )

What is it then...? ( And did you have to wrestle it and leave a slightly red-tinged puddle on his floor? jw

Lisko comes out as they're called, totally unphased by the meat slab as they're showing off the stick they found to other!dad, hopeful that he'll be proud of their achievements today!!! )

[lalliho]

Do you actually want me to answer...?

[Lalli offers Emil another quick glance, this one with a raised eyebrow, before poking their baby's stick. Not gonna steal it, he'd definitely get attacked... Maybe this way he'll be spared.]

Very good sword.

[enflame]

...Nevermind. ( He'll eat it, and that's good enough for him. ) Just stop dripping blood everywhere, will you?

( Emil takes this moment of distraction to snatch up Lisko, jumping off of his bed. They wriggle and wave their stick around, gurgling -- but not swearing just yet. )

How come you act better when he shows up?

( There's no point in telling them no when they're not doing anything wrong at the moment...h*ck. )

[lalliho]

[How is he just supposed to stop dripping blood everywhere... Gosh. Since baby Lisko is secured, though, Lalli finds their sorry excuse for a cooking rack I guess??? idk just let him set this piece of meat down somewhere that won't be disgusting for once. Satisfied, he starts to peel off his gloves with an amused hum. Ha haaaa, Lisko behaves for him.]

They know you're too nice.

[And stupid... He won't tell him that this time. Just keep on stripping until he's free of his uniform and he can wiggle into the soft safety of blankets. Warmth...]

We be quiet when you're sleeping. Maybe she thinks it's just my rule.

[enflame]

( This works for him, what with the blood now just pooling wetly in one place...Emil can handle cleaning one spot more than the whole hut, as small as it is. )

Oh? And aren't they supposed to be sleeping too? ( Don't act like you aren't soft too, Lalli!! He knows about you past bedtime lizard antics!!!

He lets Lisko go and they waddle over to Lalli's blanket mass to continue showing off their stick powers. Not only is this a stick for showing, it's a stick for hitting! They was at a nail in the floorboard before proudly proclaiming FUCK!

What are you gonna do about that, not!soft dad???
)

[lalliho]

[………]

They still sleep a lot.

[Don't call him out!!! on anything!

also, Lisko why.]

Stop. Bad.

[Yeah, that's it, that's his attempt.]

[enflame]

( Lisko blinks up at Lalli without speaking then proceeds to continue crawl around, looking for other things to hit. The look on his face is unimpressed so they must find another way to show off, somehow.

Equally unimpressed, Emil sits next to the bed with a sigh. Cooking is his department -- no actual complaints since it's usually just fire-related roasting -- and so he goes about lighting a small brush pile aflame under the meat...which isn't much effort since it takes only a thought now.

Thank goodness Lisko hasn't found Lalli's other things to go shopping, though Emil finally notices. )

What else did you bring with you?

[lalliho]

[…Well, they didn't say "fuck".]

Hn?

[Lalli looks back up, then gasps because, yeah, he'd genuinely forgotten about all that already.]

Oh. It was stuff I found in the shrine. Most of its dumb...

[Let him hobble over like a crooked blanket witch and dig around...to produce a few bottles.]

...Don't think it will help with hydration.

[enflame]

( Emil blinks, staring at the strange bottles for a second. Oh...alcohol. Well, that will do. )

That's...better than nothing? ( They're going to be stuck indoors for a week with mysterious meat and liquor. Sounds like a plan. ) I suppose we can boil rain water if we get desperate.

( Even though that sounds like the last thing he wants to do. Emil's definitely curious, though: ) Do you drink?

[lalliho]

[He sets the bottles down -- out of range of Lisko's eager hands. Their baby already constantly swears, they don't need them to become an alcoholic as well.]

Not really. Didn't see the point.

[enflame]

( Just wait until they hit their rebellious, goth phase.

Emil nods and reaches over to grab it, having to adjust himself to reach. He'll put it back, but he's curious enough to scope it out and maybe even pop the top off to smell it. Wow. That's been fermenting a while, whatever it is.

Two innocents about to get rekt. ) You haven't missed much; most alcohol tastes vile. It's supposedly an acquired taste, but I don't have time to try something horrible so many times I start to like it -- that's absurd.

( But he's thirst so time to look for something to drink out of. Maybe weird ass aliens have perfected alcohol that doesn't taste like lighter fluid -- and he likes lighter fluid, just not in his mouth. )

[lalliho]

[oh???? my god?]

Then what are you doing...

[enflame]

( Why are you giving him that look??? He's not totally adverse despite his bitching; he got drunk as shit on Aimintas on accident. )

Well, there's nothing else to drink! You didn't bring many options!

[lalliho]

[ohhhh my GOD]

You're so weird...

[But fine... He's a little curious now because friendship fosters a bad influence, so he'll point to where he last saw his own cup. Load 'er up, Västerström.]

If Lisko gets thirsty, you're getting them some rain.

[enflame]

Of course I'm not giving Lisko alcohol. I'm not an idiot. ( Lalli gets mad about assumptions and shit but is perfectly okay making sure to tell Emil not to get their child drunk. Alright then!!!!!!!!!

They're sharing then, since he can't find anything else to put a second serving in. There's a sizable amount in there considering Emil has no idea about bartending or alcohol serving sizes.

Lalli also gets the blessing of getting the first drink. For as thirsty as he is, Emil needs to steel himself for this -- here you go buddy!! )

[lalliho]

[The difference is that Lalli isn't an idiot, but Emil is. Duh.

He's dubious as he takes it, but Lisko gives a timely reminder -- fuck! Fuck it indeed. It doesn't smell absolutely wretched, anyway...

So he doesn't so much as give a testing sip and a regular drink. Why did you do this to him?!]

Mrmmph!

[YEUGHHH HEH HEHH...]

Why does it burn?!

[enflame]

Well, it's flammable. ( He should know, this is his area of expertise. ) I don't know how someone could have a glass of this every night.

( Oh no, it's his turn...god, how old are they?? These stupid teens. Emil is more reasonable, mostly because he's anxious about the horrible taste he knows is about to invade his mouth. Okay, here he goes.

Oh. Oh God. That's Fucking Nasty. )

I told you it was horrible! ( IF YOU TOLD HIM, WHY DID YOU DRINK IT )

[lalliho]

[great...even more risk of their home burning to the ground.

He recovers enough to glare at Emil through squinting eyes, trying to convey in them all the venom he's pretty sure he just drank.]

If I die, I'm haunting you before I go.

[This whole day is absurd.]

[enflame]

( You brought it back, Lalli.......what else were they going to do with it???? )

Don't be dramatic. It won't kill you. ( Except he swallows and can still taste the burning liquid lingering in his mouth. Who would subject themselves to this regularly? ) Well...actually this might.

( Said with absolute disgust; here, you take the cup back. He'll be sitting with Lalli's ghost soon. )

[lalliho]

[He just brought everything back!! Don't be rude, only he's allowed to be rude. He shoves the cup back at Emil and reaches for a different bottle. They looked similar, but they weren't identical... Maybe this one's better? Just gonna get a gulp from this huge unwieldy bottle.

More regret.]

Ugh... What is supposed to be good about this? It tastes bad and makes people stupid and smelly...

[enflame]

( Emil's sniffing his cup again when Lalli goes for the full monty and just swigs something out of a bottle directly. He could have told you that was a bad idea, bro. Tiny sips, tiny sips.

Wait -- if this makes him smelly he's going to sue somebody. )

Wasn't I right? It's not enjoyable in the least! ( Which doesn't stop him from trying another sip just to see, again, if there's something to the 'acquired taste' thing. He didn't think so, and now he doubly agrees with his previous assumptions. Truly vile. )

[lalliho]

[He grumbles in agreement, and it's not until he's already taken another drink that he realizes he's lifted the bottle back to his lips. What is he doing!!! Why!!]

Mrrrgh, s'bad. [And yet.. And yet, he drinks... It's the liquid equivalent of a car crash you can't look away from. Maybe it's hide stubborn pride, or maybe he really is a gigantic idiot, he doesn't know.] ...There were bottles at the -- thing. The people thing? But they weren't drinking from them.

[enflame]

( Oh my God, Lalli...Emil stares at the spectacle of Lalli gulping from the bottle, disavowing the liquid and then losing his ability to speak coherently. This is half amusing, half terrifying. )

Right. The people thing. ( What does that even mean, holy shit. More complacent with sipping on his own...moonshrine...his only adverse reaction thus far is a warm and tingling sensation in his chest. He'll get there, though.

Lisko ventures out to see what dads are doing again. Sitting, drinking? Boring. They sit on the base of their tail, imitating a more human position, and stare at them. Entertain them!! )

[lalliho]

[He could speak coherently if he wasn't so disgusted with the drink and his lack of self control!!! He's a lightweight, but it's still going to take a little bit.]

The party, [he clarifies with a sigh, since he can sense Emil is just placating him.] I don't know what it was all about, I just looked for a little while. But I guess it was a party, because they were all just doing stupid stuff.

[Also he'll give a small, absentminded wave to Lisko. Hey, kiddo.]

[enflame]

Oh! The party. ( He finally realizes. Emil too stopped by for a second in order to try and find more string to rub into a knot and saw people were having some sort of massive gathering. All he did was eat a few things and book it back home since he's a responsible father.

He totally missed anyone doing anything with a bottle. ) What's the point in a bottle of you don't drink anything out of it? Decoration? ( Unless they were blowing into it; he's seen that before. )