( ett • voice & video )

[enflame]

( At first there's not a video feed, just a very simple yet disgruntled question: )

Does anyone around here know how to knit? I feel like I have to be missing something.

( In an effort to illustrate the point, there's suddenly a telepathic video stream attached, showcasing what appears to be a muddled ball of yarn; someone may or may not have resorted to trying to rub or melt it together because knitting is obviously just some type of witchcraft.

Hands attempt to pull it apart to showcase the expert craftsmanship that went into this mess -- there's also the sound of rain, as well as a small voice in the background that keeps shouting FUCK! over and over again with varied levels of intensity. The culprit is a chubby Elto baby that's crawling around just out of sight, a thick stick grasped firmly in their hand. )

Lisko! No bad words! -- Regardless, I have a suspicion that the problem is more so with the type of...materials...since they don't want to stick together no matter what I do.

( Or Emil's just an idiot, which is only somewhat more likely. )

Comments

[lalliho]

[Listen...they have a child, now. It's a home for their sake.]

What are you doing, then?

[He doesn't understand this string hobby...]

I'm just checking on something. Getting stuff.

[enflame]

( There's a huff as he eventually unloops Lisko's leg from a particularly messy section of string. )

Untangling a naughty lizard. ( Which is meant to be said more to Lisko, but no one said he was great at telepathy. ) Bring back whatever you can. Who knows how long this storm will last.

( The lizard of the hour has no complaints as they scamper off to continue saying FUCK! under Emil's bed. )

[lalliho]

[Lisko like "why is he just saying 'untangling a naughty lizard' out of nowhere?"]

Mmn...

[He gives some sort of mental nod, since that was more or less his plan anyway but there's no need to gloat over that.]

Even if it's bunny?

[he doesn't have to gloat but he has to jab at his soft sensibilities]

[enflame]

( okay honestly don't come home asshole )

I don't care! Just skin it outside!

( While getting nice and wet and thinking about what a jerk you are!! )

[lalliho]

[Amusement colors his thoughts for a brief moment, but then he goes about his business. Their connection is more of an afterthought.]

Who do you let talk to them? Lisko.

[enflame]

Not anyone, really. That other lizard...sometimes they go off and crawl around together with her caretaker.

( blames this on Lancer who isn't even here anymore )

Just don't think they heard it from me!

[lalliho]

You're being mad about the string.

[unsure if believing...]

[enflame]

( rude!!! )

What? No! I'm not vulgar, and I wouldn't swear around a child!

[lalliho]

[mmmmm]

Not even your terrible cousins?

[they might deserve it]

[enflame]

Especially not!

( He's okay with aggravating his aunt and uncle, but he doesn't want to see that kind of ire. )

Not that I would want to, anyway. It's innapropriate and obscene.

[lalliho]

[Just a vague hum this time... Like, he's not wrong, but Lalli also doesn't see the problem... See, he doesn't care about all those gross, weird humans, just his lizard baby. So sweet, so pure, so soft.]

If they stop saying it long enough, ask them where they learned it, then.

[enflame]

( tbh Emil is sort of surprised Lalli cares but he's mostly worried about looking like a bad dad )

They...haven't stopped. I've told them not to, but they just keep going!

( He's not good at talking and telepathy at the same time so it's not like he's tried to intervene much more, but gurgling expletives and waps can still be heard from under his mattress.

Lalli.....come home and fix this..... )

[lalliho]

...Wow. That's a lot.

[and now he's getting a secret thrill at the thought of Lisko listening to him only... he is the best dad, and he's even denied being a dad!! he will go home and fix everything and be wonderful. best plan.]

I'll be back soon. If it gets really bad, we won't be able to leave anyway, so we have time to teach them.

[enflame]

( TBH Emil has been established as Fun Dad, Lalli has been established as Reasonable Dad. They're currently confused about why F.D. isn't more enthusiastic and joining in on their literal fuck fest.

The dad in question lets out a real-time sigh. )

That's as good a plan as any. Just get back soon before we can't open the door.

[lalliho]

It's not going to get snowed in...

[Other weather?? What other weather...

But yeah, after a while, Lalli returns with a clunking bag, a bloody uniform, and dragging some large mystery slab of meat. There's other things in his pack, but not getting some kind of meat would have been a bad idea if they did end up shut in.]

It isn't bunny.

[He was nice... But he'll be even nicer and not say which critter he shot and skinned. Something big, though, so that does narrow it down.]

Lisko... [come here, baby brat!!!]

[enflame]

( Emil's too confused by Lalli's lack of concept of rain to respond to that.

When Lalli finally arrived, his string mess has been forgotten. Lisko remains under the bed he's sitting on, still quietly saying fuck to themselves in long strings, as if they're trying to carry on a conversation using only the curse word.

Their frazzled father is now even more so with the introduction of bloody!Lalli and mystery meat. )

What is it then...? ( And did you have to wrestle it and leave a slightly red-tinged puddle on his floor? jw

Lisko comes out as they're called, totally unphased by the meat slab as they're showing off the stick they found to other!dad, hopeful that he'll be proud of their achievements today!!! )

[lalliho]

Do you actually want me to answer...?

[Lalli offers Emil another quick glance, this one with a raised eyebrow, before poking their baby's stick. Not gonna steal it, he'd definitely get attacked... Maybe this way he'll be spared.]

Very good sword.

[enflame]

...Nevermind. ( He'll eat it, and that's good enough for him. ) Just stop dripping blood everywhere, will you?

( Emil takes this moment of distraction to snatch up Lisko, jumping off of his bed. They wriggle and wave their stick around, gurgling -- but not swearing just yet. )

How come you act better when he shows up?

( There's no point in telling them no when they're not doing anything wrong at the moment...h*ck. )

[lalliho]

[How is he just supposed to stop dripping blood everywhere... Gosh. Since baby Lisko is secured, though, Lalli finds their sorry excuse for a cooking rack I guess??? idk just let him set this piece of meat down somewhere that won't be disgusting for once. Satisfied, he starts to peel off his gloves with an amused hum. Ha haaaa, Lisko behaves for him.]

They know you're too nice.

[And stupid... He won't tell him that this time. Just keep on stripping until he's free of his uniform and he can wiggle into the soft safety of blankets. Warmth...]

We be quiet when you're sleeping. Maybe she thinks it's just my rule.

[enflame]

( This works for him, what with the blood now just pooling wetly in one place...Emil can handle cleaning one spot more than the whole hut, as small as it is. )

Oh? And aren't they supposed to be sleeping too? ( Don't act like you aren't soft too, Lalli!! He knows about you past bedtime lizard antics!!!

He lets Lisko go and they waddle over to Lalli's blanket mass to continue showing off their stick powers. Not only is this a stick for showing, it's a stick for hitting! They was at a nail in the floorboard before proudly proclaiming FUCK!

What are you gonna do about that, not!soft dad???
)

[lalliho]

[………]

They still sleep a lot.

[Don't call him out!!! on anything!

also, Lisko why.]

Stop. Bad.

[Yeah, that's it, that's his attempt.]

[enflame]

( Lisko blinks up at Lalli without speaking then proceeds to continue crawl around, looking for other things to hit. The look on his face is unimpressed so they must find another way to show off, somehow.

Equally unimpressed, Emil sits next to the bed with a sigh. Cooking is his department -- no actual complaints since it's usually just fire-related roasting -- and so he goes about lighting a small brush pile aflame under the meat...which isn't much effort since it takes only a thought now.

Thank goodness Lisko hasn't found Lalli's other things to go shopping, though Emil finally notices. )

What else did you bring with you?

[lalliho]

[…Well, they didn't say "fuck".]

Hn?

[Lalli looks back up, then gasps because, yeah, he'd genuinely forgotten about all that already.]

Oh. It was stuff I found in the shrine. Most of its dumb...

[Let him hobble over like a crooked blanket witch and dig around...to produce a few bottles.]

...Don't think it will help with hydration.

[enflame]

( Emil blinks, staring at the strange bottles for a second. Oh...alcohol. Well, that will do. )

That's...better than nothing? ( They're going to be stuck indoors for a week with mysterious meat and liquor. Sounds like a plan. ) I suppose we can boil rain water if we get desperate.

( Even though that sounds like the last thing he wants to do. Emil's definitely curious, though: ) Do you drink?

[lalliho]

[He sets the bottles down -- out of range of Lisko's eager hands. Their baby already constantly swears, they don't need them to become an alcoholic as well.]

Not really. Didn't see the point.